TEN THINGS TO
EXPECT FROM YOUR CHILDCARE PROVIDER
by Michelle Ehrich
Author, The Anxious Parents' Guide to Quality Childcare
NOTE: This article has appeared in parenting publications through the US.
Most parents are unsure about what they can (or cannot) expect from the childcare provider caring for their children. Naturally, this uncertainty can cause a lot of tension, much of it unnecessary, in the relationship with the caregiver. Below is a summary of items that any parent should be able to reasonably expect from a quality childcare provider. Keep this list in mind when you select your childcare arrangement and caregiver and as you work to establish a productive relationship with your present caregiver.
1) COMMUNICATION: With any and all types of childcare arrangements, you should strive to establish an open, on-going dialogue with the childcare provider. Of equal importance, the caregiver should be amenable to having this dialogue with you. Although it may seem obvious, it is important to keep in mind that communication should be a two-way street, not just about you do the talking but also about you listening; the same goes for the caregiver.So, what should you be discussing with the caregiver? Don’t limit the conversation to what your child did that day. In addition to hearing about activities, be open to having the caregiver give you feedback on behavior, developmental concerns, scheduling, etc. You too should feel comfortable raising these issues when you have concerns. Also use this dialogue as an opportunity to discuss the caregiver’s performance, providing constructive feedback as well as compliments.
Depending upon your childcare arrangement, the best forum for communication will vary. For example, in a daycare center with many children being picked up and dropped of at the same time, the situation can become quite hectic. The caregiver may have time only for a quick personal indication to you as to how the day went. However, you can expect her to post the group’s daily activities and highlights for all parents to see. In these situations, always feel free to write notes to the caregiver when you have a specific concern. Additionally, it is reasonable to expect the caregiver to make time for periodic conferences (once or twice a year) or special meetings when there is a serious issue to discuss. At the other end of the spectrum, in-home caregivers should be far more accessible and willing to spend time discussing your concerns and your child’s activities and needs.
2) COMMON SENSE: You may think that this falls into the "duh" category however, many parents take it for granted. In my opinion, all the training in the world cannot compensate for a lack of common sense. Consciously look for this quality when you are selecting a caregiver. The truth is you don’t need a Nobel Prize winner to be a very good childcare provider. The ideal caregiver is someone with both a good head on her shoulders and an abundance of the next item.
3) LOVING HEART (WITH A SOFT SPOT FOR CHILDREN): Expect (no, REQUIRE) that your caregiver truly love kids. Don’t make the mistake of assuming that everyone who chooses this job does so because they love children. The reality is (hold on to your hats…): many people take childcare jobs because they need the money, think it will be easy and the alternatives (like fast food jobs) require weekend hours. Many of us have become parents by choice; we felt a "calling". Try to find the caregiver who seems drawn to her work in a similar way.
4) PROFESSIONALISM: Childcare is truly an important job – especially when it comes to caring for YOUR child. While the caregiver does not wear a suit to work (and would be foolish to do so), she should take her work seriously - after all she is helping to raise a child. Expect the caregiver to behave professionally and to treat her job responsibilities seriously. On the other hand, you too must keep in mind that she is doing an important job that is worthy of your professional regard.
5) RELIABLE: Having the best caregiver in the world is meaningless if she doesn’t show up for work. Much of your ability to have a functional life rests upon whether or not you have reliable childcare. The greater the caregiver’s sense of professionalism, the more likely that she is a reliable worker. Expect reliability from your childcare provider.
6) ROLE MODEL: The reality for many working families is that there are days when the childcare provider spends more time with your children than you do. Indeed, the caregiver is a constant role model for your child. You should expect that the caregiver recognizes this (either consciously or sub-consciously) and acts accordingly.
7) SHARED PARENTING PHILOSOPHY: Every parent brings his or her own set of ideas to the task of raising a child. Some feel socialization and manners are very important; others emphasize free choice, or a certain religious perspective, or strict discipline, or lack discipline, or any of a million other things. For the ones which matter most to you (not ALL of them, just the important ones), ensure that the caregiver/daycare center respects your views and can implement them.
8) KID-FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENT: If you are lucky enough to have in-home childcare, you have the ultimate control over the environment in which your child spends his day. For family daycare homes and daycare centers, you must consider what is already there. It is perfectly reasonable to expect that the place where your child spends his day is "kid-friendly". At a minimum, that means appropriate toys and activities; space for resting, quiet play and messy play; access to outdoor play spaces; clean, kid-proof and safe. I once visited a family daycare home with a lovely backyard. Whenever outdoors however, the children were kept on the deck that was gated shut because the yard was not fenced; their feet never touched the grass. Although it may have been safe, it was NOT a kid-friendly environment.
9) ESTABLISHED RULES AND GUIDELINES: Quality daycare centers have clearly explained and written rules and guidelines covering everything from the mundane, such as hours of operation and fee payment schedules, to the somewhat odd, such as biting policies or toilet training requirements. Family daycare is usually less formal in documenting the rules, although they exist nonetheless. Even for in-home childcare, there are usually "house rules". In each case, you should expect that the rules are set forth in the open and that both you and the childcare provider understand and are prepared to observe them.
10) MUTUAL RESPECT: It is critical that you have a professional and personal respect for the person who is your child’s caregiver. In return, you can expect that the childcare provider has respect for you, both as a parent and an individual. Quite honestly, if there is mutual respect between a parent and a good childcare provider, most of the other pieces will fall into place; without it however, the relationship will be so troubled that the rest of the pieces won’t really matter.
Both the parent and the caregiver should endeavor to integrate these elements as part of a productive relationship. A childcare provider and a parent who have a positive rapport can only serve to benefit the true purpose of this relationship: having your child feel happy, healthy and loved while you are at work.
copyright: Michelle Ehrich, 1999. May not be reproduced in any form without permission.
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