CHAPTER EXCERPTS FROM

(Perigee/Penguin Putnam)

by Michelle Ehrich

Do you want to see the complete Table of Contents?

                                   

Chapter 1: Before You Start...

    Being a working parent means that you work two jobs: one to earn a paycheck and the other to ensure that your children are safe, happy and loved while you are doing the first job. The definition of a working parent is incomplete unless you include the words: "one who dreams of finding and keeping high quality, reliable, suitable childcare." As working parents, our productivity at our paycheck job, indeed our very sanity, are absolutely dependent upon our success in solving the childcare question.

    Parents can quickly and easily find someone to look after their child. The real challenge for working parents arises when they add the following modifiers to their childcare search:

* HIGH QUALITY *

* RELIABLE *
* SUITABLE *

It is not always easy but it is very possible to do this successfully. I have and so have many other parents. During my childcare searches, I learned that finding the "right" caregiver and arrangement requires much more than just good intentions and luck. It requires an understanding and awareness of your present and potential needs as well as a systemic approach to evaluating and making your choices. Think of the amount of time, energy and research you devote to buying a car, a house or perhaps a wedding dress. The search for childcare is weightier and more emotional, thus deserves at least as much of your devotion.

                                   

Chapter 3: What Do We Need? The Job Requirements and the Job Description

    Caring for your child is basically your life and present destiny; however, for the caregiver, it is a job. Of course, it should be a very meaningful and enjoyable one for the caregiver but, it is still a job which means that the person who does it needs to get a salary and, perhaps other benefits. Your job description is not complete without mention of compensation and benefits to be offered to the childcare provider. The objective is to structure the compensation and benefits in a way that shows the caregiver that you recognize the importance of the job responsibilities and have a professional respect for her and the work she is doing. Ultimately, you are trying to get the most efficient use of your childcare dollars by finding the best quality caregivers for your budget. You are not trying to find the cheapest (or most costly) childcare but rather the best.

                                   

Chapter 5: Identifying Your Search Resources and Starting Your Search

    Before you can begin to find the candidates and arrangements, you must first figure out how to find them,  You cannot go to the beach for a ski holiday; you will never find a formal gown in a store that sells hiking outfits.  So much energy can be wasted just on figuring out where to look or by looking in the wrong places that parents become exhausted and discouraged before they get to the actual selection process.  Your objective is to look in the right places and in the most productive fashion so that you will be directed to the most appropriate selection of caregivers for your family.  This chapter will help you to identify and select effective search resources and offer you advice on how to use them most productively....

    The search will take a lot of your time and energy - inevitably more than you anticipate - so be prepared.  The exact length of time that the childcare search requires is variable.  generally, you should allow yourself at least two to three months for a search, especially if you have advance notice of your need for childcare (i.e. you know when your maternity leave is ending). This does not include the week or two that your preparation process requires.  If luck is on your side, your search might take as little as a week once you are in the position to commence.  However, it could take as long as six months (as it did for us with our live-in nanny), six weeks (as it did with our family daycare provider) or anything in between.

                                   

Chapter 6: Screening and Interviewing

    You are now at a turning point.  Until now, we have focused on developing the means to conduct an effective search for quality childcare and our efforts have been fairly self-contained.  This chapter will offer you advice on screening and interviewing a pool of applicants...

SCREENING INDIVIDUAL CANDIDATES (and DEALING WITH COMPETITION IN THE MARKETPLACE)

    When I first began to screen and interview live-in nanny candidates by telephone, I spent the bulk of the initial interview (immediately after the screening) discussing Candidate Qualifications and Job Requirements in a very factual and businesslike (yet not unfriendly) manner. In two early instances, once when I called back a candidate for the second interview and once when I spoke to the agency for feedback, I learned that the candidates had since made plans to visit another family (i.e. the face-to-face interview) because they "just hit it off right away with the mother/family (i.e. employer)". Then it dawned on me: even though I thought that our position and children were the best in the world, there was a lot of competition out there! Read that sentence again to make sure you remember it!

    This was an important lesson to be learned. I modified my interview methods, adopting a more conversational approach to form a personal connection with the candidate. I began to spend more time initially talking about the personalities of our children, our priorities in life, our perspectives on childcare and our community etc., then gradually shifting focus to learning more about the candidate’s qualifications. It took a bit more time up front, but this enabled me to form a personal connection by selling the candidates on "us" - our family, our children, our job and our town - before I took the time to learn more about their qualifications and assess if I was interested in them. While the success of your efforts in "selling the job" to a strong candidate may not be immediately evident, your failure in this regard can be readily so.

                                   

Chapter 7: How To REALLY Check References

    If you have gotten to the point where you like a candidate or center enough to arrange for an personal face-to-face interview, take the time to check references first.  Do so for any childcare arrangement you might be considering,( in or out of home), even if the candidate came very highly recommended from a close friend or relative, and even if you are 100 percent certain that this is the right candidate for your position.  Think of the rush you feel when experiencing love at first sight and the letdown that occurs once you see your beloved in the light of day.  References complement the interview process by serving as a vital reality check.  Keep in mind that checking references is about as much fun as interviewing, so you may find it necessary to remind yourself that you have a very important and worthy goal: finding the very best caregiver and arrangement for your child....

    Human nature is such that people shy away from saying bad things about others, especially to strangers who call from out of the blue.  When calling a reference, keep this in mind and be gracious as you introduce yourself and explain the purpose of your call.....The manner in which you pose your reference questions should be informal and friendly rather than adversarial.  Be well prepared so that the conversation is productive and you don't waste anyone's time.

                                   

Chapter 8: On-Site Visit of Out-of-Home Childcare Locations

  The on-site visits to an out-of-home childcare facility is essential before you can make your final selection.  During your visits, you will be conducting face-to-face interviews with caregivers (see chapter 6) in addition to assessing the environment and overall facilities.  Keep in mind that centers are a package deal and each component of the package (the caregivers, the facility, the environment) must meet your standards.  regardless of how attractive or appealing the center may be, if the caregivers who will be with your children do not meet your standards (or visa versa), then this is not the right choice for you.

    Please note that I intentionally use the plural visits.   If you are seriously considering a particular center, you should visit it on several occasions and at different times of day, both with and without an appointment, to get a feel for what the environment is truly like...

THE ON-SITE VISIT: WHAT IS THE ENVIRONMENT LIKE?

    The objective of the on-site visit for both family and daycare centers is to assess critically the environment and the quality of the childcare offered through observation (much like in the face-to-face interview of an in-home caregiver). This may seem a daunting task but it comes down to answering this simple question as you tour the center and speak to the caregiver: "If I were my child, would I want to spend my day here?"

                                   

Chapter 10: Tips To Make It Work

    Finding and hiring quality childcare is a long process, but it is just the beginning.  Most parents hope to develop a long-term relationship with the selected childcare provider and arrangement.  There are many solid reasons behind this desire.  First, stability in your childcare arrangement is good for your children; it helps them to feel secure in a positive relationship with a caring adult in a caring environment.  Second, stability in a childcare relationship is good for you; the search process itself is tough and who wants to do that again soon?  this chapter will offer some tips on how to make your childcare arrangement an ongoing success....

BEING A GOOD MANAGER

    A few weeks after I returned to work following Sam’s birth, it occurred to me that I was the "Manager" in the childcare relationship. Of course, I had hired and paid people before to do things around my house or for other services but, never before had I had a long-term, paying relationship with someone who I had trusted with so much responsibility (caring for my child!). This was something new. I realized that the nature of my relationship with the caregiver was almost as important as my child’s relationship with her.

    As a working parent, you already know what it feels like to be an employee and how important it is to your job satisfaction to have a good working relationship with your boss. In some cases, you may also have had practice being a manager and perhaps understand what fosters good and bad employee relations. While the childcare situation is not exactly analogous to your own work situation, the key considerations of Respect, Communication and Compensation are applicable to both in insuring a positive and successful working relationship.

                                

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